no PAIN no gain, right?

I'll start out this one by saying this is so hard. Decisions, insecurities, failures, staying hopeful when you can't see ahead. No one talks about the pain, behind the scenes, or the stuff we shove underneath our beds. We feel like no one understands, people will judge you, roll their eyes, say "it's just life, we all go through it." And it's true, we all do. But where in the life book does it say we have to hide everything we go through that makes us who we ARE? pro tip: it doesn't.

We need to embrace the broken pieces, okay?

Stop hiding behind the hurt you're going through because whether people you're around understand you or not, they do care and you're not alone.

A couple weeks ago my life changed overnight. And I mean that quite literally. You see, I had this plan for my life. Me, I had this plan for my life. HAHA. Okay going on... so I thought I knew exactly how my life was going to play out and I was so used to telling everyone the same story over and over about what I was going to do after college, and what I was doing for my life. Guys I ASSUMED that I knew how my life was going to play out. I have never been so blindsided, shocked, or confused in my entire life. Even though God had been preparing me for some time, telling me to TRUST Him. I felt it guys, when I read my bible, when I was alone, in the songs I would hear. It most definitely was not a coincidence. As I have mentioned before, the last several months have been so difficult. I couldn't figure out why, I never lost sight of God, but I was just like "Come ON, God. I need something here." When I thought that it could absolutely not get any worse- it did in ways I never thought possible.

C.S. Lewis described pain as, “God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Please stay with me, this get's good. I have went through a lot of things in my life that no one should ever have to, but I know others have also had it worse. My point is that I have had multiple opportunities to see God in those situations. I consider that a blessing (James 1:2-4). When I am in absolute despair, earth shattering heartbreak, the only thing to ever get me through is knowing that God is in control. He's protecting me. He is doing everything because he LOVES me. I am not alone. HIS plan, is better than mine. HIS way is better than mine. The quote above is something that I came across and is absolutely so true. God used this earth shattering heartbreak ~again~ to wake me up and say to me "Rainen, my daughter, this isn't everything that I have for you. There is MORE" He was telling me that I don't have it all figured out. In the last little bit of time I realized the path that I was going on was not fulfilling me. It was breaking me. I wasn't being true to myself, and I was conforming my life to everything I didn't want after all. I was losing myself, and instead of looking forward to everything that was coming, I was dreading it. I was blind to seeing God's picture, deaf to hearing his voice, to being myself.

I know you're probably thinking "Okay I know you're talking about this pain but you don't know MY pain. You don't understand how I FEEL" Girl, I do not know your pain, and I am so sorry for that. But the one thing- the ONLY thing to get me through is the faith that I have in God that no matter how bad it hurts right now, no matter what it feels like or what you think this means for your future, you will be okay. You will be better than the brokenness you feel right now. I cannot even begin to describe the happiness and joy that I feel every single day right now. God has to break you to use you, to transform you. I am so thankful for every thing that I have gone through to make me who I am right now. As it's said these days- I AM THRIVING. truly! I am so faithful that God's promises are true, that he is just, and works for GOOD. You have to believe that too. It's not enough to just say you trust God, but sometimes it takes falling on your knees in surrender to pour yourself to Him. Most days I don't have any words, but I know my heart is being heard.

This is my absolute favorite scripture because it gives me SO MUCH HOPE

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

To me this answers all of my worries and fears. All of them. It gives me the ANSWER to life. It tells me "Rainen all you have to do is trust God. You have to follow Him, no matter what. Seek His will for your life. You don't have to worry about anything or what's going to happen because as long as you do those things, God is going to give you the DESIRES OF YOUR HEART! Am I being dramatic saying that as long as I follow God and do as he pleases he will give me what I want? YES I am!! It might not be what I think that I want (thank goodness) because we are blind to earthly things. But this scripture tells me that I can have joy knowing the faith that I have in my heavenly father.

We experience pain because we have to feel to understand. It's God giving us our wake up call. But don't fear, don't be afraid, don't be anxious thinking "Oh man I'm so scared God is going to take this incredible, good thing from my life." And it's easier said than done, I know. But trust God. Trust his purpose and his plan. I promise it's the only way. Embrace your pain, embrace your pieces. They will be cleaned and shining like they never have before. I PROMISE.

Romans 8:18

The PAIN that you've been feeling does not

compare to the JOY that's coming.

If you don't get the internship, your first choice college or job offer, or if you don't end up with the boy who won your heart. BE JOYFUL. Thank God that he closed the door when he did because he is protecting you. Trust the process. You're not alone, reach out to me, to friends, to anyone!

1 Thessalonians 5:18

18  give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

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You are so loved, and worthy of all good things my dear. Here are some tips to remember on your beautiful crazy (sometimes painful) journey of life:

~Find your worth in who God says you are. Not your friends, not your boyfriend, & not your career

~Stop trying to impress people.

~Be unapologetically YOU

~Stay away from temporary voids- bad people, bad habits, bad choices

~Compliment someone everyday

~Dress up if it makes you feel yoself

~Post the bomb selfie and do not be insecure

~Get off TikTok and do your homework

~Surround yourself with positive people

~It is definitely a-ok to cry

~Get in the word

BE HAPPY. It's a choice

xoxo

-R