Beautiful Soul... are you lost?

Hi there! If you immediately thought of Jesse McCartney reading this title... let's be friends ;) How are you? Your answer might be "good" or "very well." However, I'm willing to bet a lot of money that the majority of the time there are many other words to describe how you are. Maybe you're tired, restless, depressed, lost, *blah*, or any other opposite word from okay. Because me too! How come we do not tell other people how we really feel all of the time? I think it's because usually we see people and say a quick hello and move on because we have places to go and things to do. I also think that a huge reason is that we don't want to burden people with our problems, our issues, our MESS.

During this insane time of our lives, our mental health has been shaken to our core. If you are like me I became extremely anxious about falling into the deep depression hole that I was once in because I wasn't sure how quarantine was going to go for me. Let's just say I am SO happy that at least a little bit of our norm is back, even though we have a lot of precautions to still take.

“Mental health problems don’t define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but, importantly, YOU ARE NOT THE RAIN.” — Matt Haig

Vulnerability moment: Guys I hit my peak and my rock bottom within weeks of each other. Quarantine brought out the best and worst in me. Satan used that time to tempt me, make me believe I wanted things that I know are bad for me. Things that only brought me TEMPORARY JOY- but I was not fulfilled anywhere and I was left feeling empty time after time. Even though God was there and I wasn't looking at his face because I was ashamed, he still, was there. He never once left me, he never once stopped loving me, and he never once stopped pursuing my heart. Do you know how I knew that? Because I felt guilty. I felt him in my tears telling me it was okay. I felt unsatisfied with everything I was doing because I know that God has so much MORE for me in store. Those feelings are feelings of love, and hope, and NOT loneliness- even though I might have been in the moment.

Pausing on God's neverending love for a second: think about your soul. What gives you ultimate satisfaction? Do you fall asleep easily at night or are you more restless? Are you unhappy more times than you are happy? Do you feel unworthy of love and affection? Do you oftentimes feel that people you are around are bringing you down? Do you act in ways you normally wouldn't to gain the attention of others? Pay attention to these signs of a restless, unsatisfied, yearning soul!!

Luke 15:24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was LOST and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

In my study of Luke recently, I realized something incredible (Go back and read the parables of the lost sheep, lost coin, & the lost son LUKE 15:1-32). In these parables, Jesus is reminding us that he would stop at nothing to win us back & bring us home when we are lost- we know these parables right? Pay attention to this~ each time Jesus tells the story of something that is lost he decreases the ratio margins of value! With the lost sheep, it was 1-99 that he left to go find. With the woman and her lost coin, the ratio of value went to 1-9. With the lost son, the ratio was INFINITE guys. Jesus said he would leave an INFINITE ratio to bring us back. We are more valuable and important than anything else in the universe.

LOST. I have been there, I'm there now, but this isn't the end. Maybe I don't have eyes to see the end of the tunnel but I have faith that God is with me and hope to know that he is pursuing me. I know that nothing in the world can separate his love for me and can stop him from looking for me when I mess up. Understand this: my tone is not light and airy and sweet and "Jesus loves me when I mess up."

Hear me correctly: I'm saying that living in my sin, my ugly, my brokenness- God WANTS ME. He is SEARCHING for me. JUST AS I AM. I am unworthy when I get off track, or fall into bad habits, or choose earthly things- and God is actively yearning for me to look at his face again.

We all deal with our misfortunes and bad cards that we were dealt with. But we know that in this world we will have trouble (john 16:33) and everything works out for those that love God (romans 8:28). We are not promised an easy life. However, remind yourselves that you have a PURPOSE, you were set apart holy and righteous, & you are LOVED.

You are loved whether you gain 50lbs, you are loved if you are struggling in your sin, you are loved if you have committed a crime, you are loved if you are an addict, you are loved if you're a struggling believer, you are loved if you have depression, you are loved with whatever skin color, you are loved despite your background, you are LOVED. And guys we didn't do a single thing to deserve it. Just ACCEPT it.

Praise God that he is a glorious father that gives us UNCONDITIONAL love.

Let this be a reminder to you that no matter what season you're in, no matter what you're going through- you are loved and accepted just as you are. Whether you want to pick up your Bible or not, don't feel like going to church, don't want to reach out to anyone for help- what was that? Oh yeah! YOU ARE LOVED. If you are a visual person let my teacher self give you one. Sometimes we feel all these emotions then none at all. We don't want to pray, or cry, or talk to anyone we just need to be comforted. To be held. Imagine being so overwhelming wrapped up into the greatest, tightest, most loving hug. That is what our loving Father wants to do for you. When you feel ugly, depressed, broken.

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Some things to remember for your restless soul:

~this season is temporary

~your satisfaction cannot be found in others

~earthly things will inevitably disappoint you

~nothing you do will make you unworthy in God's eyes

~fighting your battles alone will be so much harder

~you can never ever ever be too lost!

~you. are. LOVED <3

p.s. If I ask how you are doing, I DO want the honest answer. Even if it's a quick hello ;)

xoxo

-R